Cat Gravity Poster

This is a companion piece for my print World Builder.

In that one, I have a poster with the beginning of my Famous Theory of Cat Gravity (which is my Pet Theory) hanging in the background. Well, a number of people asked if they could have a print that was just the poster. So here it is.

The (copyrighted, so don't put it on your website or send it out in e-mail; instead, refer everyone to this page) text reads:

This is the theory of cat gravity, which is my pet theory.

Cats, as everyone knows, sit on the window ledges where, as everyone knows, they collect solar rays. What everyone does not know is that they transform these solar rays directly into gravity.
You can tell that they are doing this because when they get into the window they hardly ever make any noise; but when they get out they almost invariably go "thud."

Now when a cat is full of gravity they find a person (or, if there is no person available they go to a particular chair or a special afghan) and they pump gravity directly into the person. You can see them doing this, and you can hear them doing this. And this is why it's almost impossible to get up if there is a cat on your lap.

If you are not the actual gravity recipient it's fairly easy to lift the cat off someone else's lap and release them. But if you are the actual gravity recipient you are more or less stuck until the cat has finished, and gets off on it's own. At this point it has very little gravity left and gets the "zooms" all over your apartment.

You, on the other hand, are so full of gravity that you can barely manage to get up and stagger to your bed. Which you do because everyone knows you use more gravity when you are horizontal than when you are vertical.

And while you are lying there the extra gravity leaks out of your body and into the bed. Which is why when you walk past your bed, even if it's broad daylight and you are not particularly tired, you are likely to find yourself sprawled on it full length. The extra gravity just sucks you down, and there's not a lot you can do about it.

Now eventually the bed reaches what we call it's Gravity Saturation Potential. And when it does the extra gravity leaks out of the bed and lands on whatever is underneath it.

And that is why everything that's loose in the room eventually winds up under the bed. There's just so much more gravity under there that it can't be helped.

This is the beginning of the theory of Cat Gravity.

(By the way, as with all other theories, I didn't make this one up all by myself. So thanks to Nancy, who made the first observation, and to Tay and the Gang who began the work to flesh it out. There is lots more than this; but for that you will have to wait until the book is out.)

This picture was made in Strata StudioPro 2.5, with image maps and textures constructed in Adobe Illustrator and Photoshop 5.

• The image area of this print is 6x7.5 inches. It comes matted on a piece of foam-core board, open edition, signed by the artist. $25 + $5 shipping and handling.

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