If you are a woman and…

You own more power tools than you do pairs of shoes, you may be a lesbian.

Your idea of "dressing up" is changing into your "good" jeans, you may be a lesbian.

You use your oven primarily for storage, you may be a lesbian.

You frequently look at Christmas presents from your mother and wonder, "What does she expect me to do with this?", you may be a lesbian.

You have no idea how to put on makeup, but know exactly how to fix the toilet, you may be a lesbian.

The phrase "Dykes on Bikes" makes your heart swell with Pride, you may be a lesbian.

Your "everyday purse" is a photographer's vest, you may be a lesbian.

Your first thought when you see long, perfectly polished fingernails is "ouch!", you may be a lesbian.

You think combing your hair more than once a day is a waste of time, you may be a lesbian.

You have ever referred with disdain to "Girlie Stuff," you may be a lesbian.

You habitually keep your hands in your pockets, you may be a lesbian.

The phrase "act like a Lady" gives you bad flashbacks from your childhood, you may be a lesbian.

Your "good shoes" are the tenny-runners without any holes, you may be a lesbian.

Your clothing is always chosen for comfort, not fashion, you may be a lesbian.

Your idea of "comfort food" is a beer, you may be a lesbian.

You have ever seriously threatened the "perfume girl" in a department store with bodily harm, you may be a lesbian.

You determine if your clothing is "clean enough" by smelling it, you may be a lesbian.

You can pack for a weekend in a "day pack" with room to spare, you may be a lesbian.

You can change to "go out" in less than five minutes, you may be a lesbian.

Your downstairs neighbor calls you to fix her plumbing, her cabinets, her small appliances, etc. you may be a lesbian.

A saleswoman has ever said, "Yes, sir?" to you, you may be a lesbian.

Your closet is totally devoid of skirts or dresses (if you don't count the ones your mother gave you,) you may be a lesbian.

Your idea of a stunning piece of jewelry involves a double-bladed axe, you may be a lesbian.

You own every album ever released by k.d. lang, Melissa Ethridge, and the Indigo Girls, you may be a lesbian.

You never put your car in the shop for an oil change because it's so easy to do it yourself, you may be a lesbian.

You love getting flowers, but are somehow ashamed to admit it, you may be a lesbian.

You have ever been surprised that a friend didn't know how to rewire a lamp, you may be a lesbian.

As a child, you dissected your dolls to find out how the joints worked, you may be a lesbian.

As a child, after you dissected your dolls, you had no problem putting them back together, you may be a lesbian.

You are amazed to find out that Dr. Martin also makes women's shoes, you may be a lesbian.

You think "fixing your nails" involves a pair of clippers. Period. you may be a lesbian.

You know exactly how to use a soldering iron, but are totally at a loss when faced with a curling iron, you may be a lesbian.

You think "lipstick" is an adjective, you may be a lesbian.

You have ever trimmed your nails with a pair of diagonal cutters, you may be a lesbian.

You have ever shaved your legs with your knife, you may be a lesbian.

You think "butch" is a compliment, you may be a lesbian.

You eat whenever you are hungry, you may be a lesbian.

You tend to think of food as "fuel," you may be a lesbian.

Your workbench is spotless, but your sink is full of dishes, you may be a lesbian.

Fine china makes you nervous, you may be a lesbian.

You know people who would spend real money for a photograph of you in a dress (but there's no way they are getting it!) you may be a lesbian.

You dismiss most models as "too skinny," you may be a lesbian.

You have ever used a "y" to spell "women," you may be a lesbian.

If the word "Michigan" does not bring to mind a state, you may be a lesbian.

You have ever said, "Ah, good one!" after belching, you may be a lesbian.