If you don't like the ritual, don't do it. It's not required.
And if you change your mind at some point, go with that then.
Part of the beauty of this religion is that you are not required to buy a package deal!
Perhaps it's a personal quest for spirituality that works best for you, and that helps you to grow and become more the person that you can become.
Perhaps you are happier in an unstructured environment, simply communing with nature and connecting to the Gods that way.
Perhaps you have been hurt in some fashion that involved ritual of one form or another. If so, any kind of ritual at all is likely to remind you of that hurt, and to actually make it harder to relax and join with Deity.
No matter where your heart lies you need to do what works best for you! Not what works for other people.
In my opinion, as long as you are striving for growth and healing you will be fine. Worship and celebrate in the manner that seems best to you!
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